GNAST: Day Eight

Starting: West Yellowstone, MT
Destination: West Yellowstone, MT
Distance: whatever the loop is around YNP

Sleeping in the car: MISTAKE.

See, we've slept in a smaller vehicle in colder conditions just fine, so we figured that a larger vehicle would also be just fine. It was not just fine. We, uh, actually started to run out of air? Sometime around 5am we woke up breathing heavily and I had to decide if a fear of grizzly bears (why oh why did we sleep in the food container) was worth slow asphyxiation?

Sleep in Subaru Legacies. Sleep in Mazda 626s. Do not sleep in Kia Souls.

And yet, we still didn't get up early enough. Because, you see, Yellowstone is actually the Disneyland of the National Park System. And by that I mean, if you want to go to ~~see Mickey~~ Old Faithful, you have to be at the site by like, 8am. We didn't get in until about 10, so we were pretty damn screwed. Also, it was still about 55 degrees and drizzly, and one of the Visitor Centers said that they were up 25% in visitors. We did hit the Midway Geyser Basin and fought our way through half the population of east Asia and their selfie sticks, but the Prismatic wasn't nearly as prismatic due to the insane steam blowing our way from the incoming rainstorm. Said rainstorm also deterred us from the Fairy Falls area, and LOL there was no getting into Old Faithful. (Don't worry--our Ranger friends assure us that there's nothing missed there, and Aaron sneers that it is a lie and automated.) So the southwestern quadrant of the loop was pretty much... rainclouds, trees, and gaggles of really dumb people.

Southeastern was stormy--we didn't walk Storm Point because of a storm, and the wind off the lake was a biting damp cold that frankly, we had dealt with enough in Colorado. We got our stamp down near Fishing Bridge and wound our way up, seeing plenty of wildlife but none of the big predators. We did see a bison nearly attack an RV, and a bunch of people swarming toward a male elk despite a Ranger standing in the middle of the road, pained, trying to herd them away. There was nearly a pile-up when a female moose was spotted in a meadow, and the poor woman driving the Yellowstone bus threw her hands up in frustration. At one point, we saw a great herd of people pointing toward a cabin, the kind of herd that indicates wildlife--but also a pissed off Ranger and an ambulance? Never found out what that was about, but heard some people mentioning it further up at the Canyon.

We did get into the Canyon at the northeast part, and walk the trail from Lower Falls to Upper Falls. It is a very unforgiving, steep trail and it was nice to stretch our legs. Great scenery. Saw an eagle. As much as we wanted to actually hike something (learned: they are very stingy with hiking trails. I think it's to protect the animals), we apparently didn't have a party big enough to take on Mount Washborn and its grizzly bear population. Also, it was stormy, and we have had enough of being chased off mountains by lightning. Furthermore, according to an eavesdropped conversation between Rangers, the stretch between the lake and the canyon has three grizzly families, with three angry mamas and six cubs between them. And one family is guarding a carcass 80 yards from the road. We were perfectly content not getting out of the car. The north side had the lady moose, and northwest, on the road to West Yellowstone, we watched a small herd of elk with a baby elk lay down and graze in what must be the cocaine equivalent of grass, because they cared for nothing.

We had a great many discussions about the nature of Yellowstone. We threw around words like "neutered" and "wow, this is a really boring stretch of road" before deciding that it was basically Pokemon Snap and readjusted our epic expectations accordingly. Much like how Wyoming and Kansas were examples of God's enormity, and the Rockies were His terrifying awesomeness, Yellowstone is his mercy and longsuffering, because honestly, most people there should be dead of geysers or wild animals.

After finishing our loop, we met with my friend Geoff and his buddy Jake, who are awesome and knowledgeable Rangery intern types, and they led us to a great dinner full of elk and buffalo meat. (Geoff also provided us an itinerary of spots to go to in the park--we tried!) We started to drive to Earthquake Lake after dinner, but were too tired, and settled in at camp instead. Whereupon I discovered a tree in our site very freshly clawed up by a bear and we saw an elk and a fox on the campground. But we had a good night, got half of our thank-you cards done by bedtime, marked up the atlas for the next day, and enjoyed a dry night in our tent. Crazy talk.

I really, really love Montana. I love the cool air, the views, the mountains, the twilight. If I had a bear-proof place to stay, I'd stay there even longer (but the paranoia about smelly things near the tent was wearing on me). I think Montana even slightly beats out Wyoming, although we were only in the very southern tip for two days. I am absolutely coming back to Montana. Glacier is calling my name. I mean, we've had talks about coming back to the Rockies, preferably in a cabin and with kids (so a long while off), but I think I need me more Montana in my life.