GNAST: Day Two

Starting: Jamestown, Kentucky
Destination: Granite City, Illinois
Mileage: 393 miles / 6 hours

Today, we learned that we REALLY REALLY REALLY DON'T LIKE THE MIDWEST. Sorry, Midwesterners.

1) Western and northern Kentucky, your roads are terrible and it's not your fault, but Susan, our GPS, was kind of an idiot about navigating your cute cities (Bowling Green, etc).

2) Indiana: no welcome center, nuclear power plant lording over the corn, sketchy little towns, a plant nursery featuring acid-trip statuary and two live, spastic buffalo, and best of all... in the midst of a cornfield was a V-shaped sign (so as to be seen by both directions) against abortion. Around the sign, in the middle of the cornfield, was a little plot of land filled with identical, tiny white crosses. INDIANA HAS AN ABORTION FIELD. It is also probably the filming location of Children of the Corn 2: Aborted Fetuses Edition, and we do not like Indiana. Also, roads continue to be terrible. We say this as South Carolinians who regularly drive in Alabama: your roads are terrible.

3) Illinois! Well, see, Illinois had a rest stop, if not a welcome center, at the state line. This was greatly looked forward to, on account of us desperately needing to stretch our legs. Too bad for us, "Skeeter Mountain Rest Area" had no potable water and featured a "sewage lagoon" that appeared to be a hit with all the kids. Roads still suck. Driving isn't so much 'driving' so much as it is an advanced exercise in pothole evasion. Also, Aaron was trolled hardcore by a state cop who decided not to pull him over after all. (Or maybe he was going to aid the stranded motorist all along?)

4) We're staying on the Illinois side of the river at a KOA, so we crossed into Missouri properly to go see fireworks in St. Louis with one one of Aaron's high school friends and her husband. The Arch is under construction, so we had to take the train/subway further down to Fair St. Louis. While walking downtown and peeking at the Rams stadium, we also saw a white guy holding a damn axe talking to a black guy before being shooed along by a nonchalant cop. At the fair, which had about 150,000 people sprawled and clustered on a big lakefront hill waiting for the fireworks, a horde of teenagers descended, very much not like everyone else camped on the hill with strollers and blankets and chairs. The horde proceeded to set off Roman candles in the crowd about 5 times, instigating a legit teenage stampede every time (I kept thinking, this is how Mufasa died every time I ducked). The cops were having none of it, arrested a good handful of people (who put up a terrific dramatic and persecuted fuss), and dispersed the horde. The cops and metro officials did a great job in managing the crowds afterwards, and basically, we went into St. Louis and left a fan of the local cops.

There is just also the part where downtown St. Louis, by the Cardinals stadium and the Arch and all the big touristy glamor, is really rundown and full of perma-construction. It reminds me of Columbus, Ohio's zombie-esque design. There are also casinos, and I'm sure that somewhere, the old biddies in Charleston are clutching pearls and smelling salts that one of their own (Aaron, not me) was exposed to a nasty, graffiti'd downtown with GAMBLING.

We got back to our campsite after midnight, having skipped dinner and dehydrated, and collapsed in our tent for the next 7-8 hours. Then we binge-ate at the Waffle House down the street.

Day Two: Never the Midwest, Never.